Collitalks ”Transformative Conversations”

Uncovering Hidden Loyalties: Breaking the Cycle of Self-Sabotage

Hi, it's Colli from Colli Talks and from Your Gift is Inside Your Wounds, but also from ColliTalks, Transformative Conversations. It's been a while, but things are in motion. A lot of great guests coming on. Oh, I can't wait to share them with you. It's all progressive and very exciting.
But today, I wanted to talk a little bit about, well, the work I do with systemic trauma and family constellations, but focusing on one subject, and that is self-sabotage and hidden loyalties. You know, what I've learned so far in my journey of self-discovery and working with individuals in seminars, is a profound truth. And that is, self-sabotage is rarely, and I mean rarely, a random act of self-destruction. Most people don't want to self-destruct. So instead, it's often rooted in unconscious loyalties, loyalties to the suffering of those who came before us.
You know, loyalties may bind us to the struggles of our parents, grandparents, parents or even further back in the line of our ancestors, the lineage. And this is all subconscious. We don't know this is going on. So sometimes we are carrying the emotional weight of past generations, whether it's trauma from wars, loss, or even grief that our ancestors endured. I'm going to give you an example. I did myself a session where something was really. Bothering me. And I really had to go deep inside and look at this. And as I found out, it was that I was carrying grief. And it wasn't my grief. It was my mom's grief and my grandmother's grief from the loss of my grandfather, my mom's father and my grandma's husband. And his name happened to be John. Interestingly enough, my first love and best friend forever, who has since passed on, his name was John. So there was grief for me there as well. And then another partner I had, his name was John. And so there was a lot of unresolved grief that I had from my relationships with these men called John. And the big segue was my mom's and my grandmother's grief that I was also carrying. So this is how important this work is.
You know, there's a subconscious belief that if we allow ourselves to be happier or healthier than they were, we could be betraying their memory, their pain. And this loyalty holds us back from reaching our full potential, trapping us in cycles of self-sabotage. And so in order to find and uncover these hidden loyalties, self-sabotage patterns, one needs to work with a trained hidden loyalty detective, which I am. So, and this is how I ended up doing this work is because I always wanted to be a detective and I I never thought I was going to be a detective of this kind of work, but yeah, Let's take a reflection point here.
Ask yourself, dear father, dear mother, smile upon me kindly if I have the courage to be happier than you. And then feel what arises when you say those words. Does it bring discomfort or fear? Does it feel like you're betraying the suffering of those who came before you? These feelings are often at the core of our self-sabotaging behaviors. Now, I have a challenge for you. When we become aware of these loyalties, we can transform them. Instead of being loyal to suffering, we can choose to honor our family's struggles by living fully and joyfully. So this is where the shift begins from loyalty to pain to loyalty to growth.
Now, another significant aspect of self-sabotage I've encountered is perfectionism. And oh, do I know this one. And many of us believe we are never good enough, but we are. And this belief halts our progress because we fear falling short of perfection. We stop ourselves even before we begin sometimes. So perfectionism is simply another form of self-sabotage form. You know, it's masking itself as ambition. So my invitation to you this week is here's what I invite you to consider today. Where in your life are you holding yourself back due to unconscious loyalties or a fear of imperfection? What would it look like to let go of the need for everything to be perfect and instead embrace your growth? Even if it's messy because it is going to be messy. But messy is a good thing because we can always clean it up.
So take action. Throughout this week, I encourage you to sit with this question. What am I being loyal to? Something or someone that is no longer serving me? And reflect on what comes up for you and challenge yourself to take one small step toward releasing these old patterns. Whether it's finishing a project you've been too afraid to even start or allowing yourself to experience joy despite the past like I was, know that this step will open doors to new possibilities.
And remember, this is the work that I'm so passionate about and do with individuals and seminars. And you never know where I'm going to show up, just like I did today with regards to doing this podcast. So soon, and I mean very soon, there will be new releases, and those releases will be very, very enlightening for you. So have a wonderful, absolutely wonderful week, and I will talk to you very soon. Lots of love and soul hugs.

Heartfelt Journeys: A Conversation with Carol Olivia Adams

In this episode, we are thrilled to welcome Carol Olivia Adams, a distinguished AM radio host, television and internet radio personality, and podcast host of "The Matter of the Heart." Carol has interviewed notable figures such as Dr. Bernie Siegel, Bruce Lipton, and Kelly Carlin, among others. Known for her deep and intuitive interviewing style, Carol believes in the profound truth held within the human heart.Join us as Carol shares her journey into becoming a podcast host, driven by her love for interviews and a deep sense of intuition. We delve into her thoughts on the power of the heart, her experiences with astrology in understanding human relationships, and the transformative power of life’s challenges. Carol also discusses how synchronicity and acceptance have shaped her life and work, offering profound insights for listeners on their own journeys.

Codependency and Rediscovering Self: A Sneak Peek

Hi, it's Colli from Colli Talks Transformative Conversations. I'm going to be brief. I just want to apologize. The scheduled podcast that was to come out tomorrow can't because there was a massive storm and it was a storm that tower outaged for quite some time and that happened during my interview. So I laugh now, but it wasn't funny then, but it is now in a way that I get to enjoy interviewing the person, the lady that is going to be with us. And I get to interview her all over again. So I get a double bonus. I get to spend twice the time with her.
But in the meantime, what I wanted to talk to you about today or to share with you is I have another guest coming on soon who's an expert in codependence. And I just wanted to give a snippet about it. And that's, you know, codependence is the tragic situation where individuals lose their sense of self because they become so absorbed in someone else's life that they can't make decisions even for themselves. They're not themselves anymore, actually. They're the other person. And that's really heartbreaking because there's so much potential within these individuals, but it gets lost when they can't separate themselves from others. They, you know, the behavior often leads to extreme neediness. And it's not just regular neediness, like I need a glass of milk or I need a cup of coffee or whatever. It's a deeper, more intense form of dependency where they literally throw away their sense of self for the sake of someone else. And they become incredibly needy to the point where they rely on others entirely for validation and direction.
And you know, I see it a lot. I get it a lot with regards to parents and their children. They... Didn't lead the life they thought they wanted. They are unfulfilled. They have children. They push their children to extremes sometimes because they think they're doing it for the betterment of their children, to give them the best life in this competitive world. And so actually, they're doing it because their life is so unfulfilled. They're not even allowing for the child to really express their own needs because the parent is so needy to get the child to be what they never became. So this pattern of behavior often goes hand in hand with other issues. You know, it creates a complex and difficult situation. And what makes it even more challenging is that people in this state usually don't realize they have this problem. They assume everyone is like this, so they don't see that anything is wrong. And when you try, like I've tried sometimes to point it out to certain people who have become my clients, they often react with anger or defensiveness because they truly believe their behavior is normal. Well, it's not.
And so the best course of action for someone struggling with this level of codependence is to spend time alone, about six months with no relationships. By being alone, they can start to rediscover who they are without folding into someone else's identity again. And, you know, this solitude is crucial for them to regain their sense of self. And however, you know, that is incredibly difficult for most people in this situation, right? So as they often struggle to be alone, they can't be alone. And even those who are seemingly capable of healthy relationships often end up folding into their partner's identity, convincing themselves that the other person is always right. And then the pattern repeats itself. And when you try to point it out again, they often don't recognize it. It's a very frustrating cycle because if you try to help, they can become angry. And if you don't, they continue to be miserable, often turning to you, or in my case, to me, to vent their frustrations. But that's why with coaching, you know, it's, you pay to talk to me if you're, you know, a client. So, but I don't let people repeat their stories. I'm here to help people sort through and out of and into their truth.
So, My heart goes out to people caught in this cycle. It's a tough situation, and breaking free from it requires significant self-reflection and a willingness to embrace being alone long enough to rediscover who they really are. Now, as I mentioned, this is a short little blurb on not this week's interview that's going to be released, but an upcoming one. And he's an expert on codependency and I'm really looking forward to him sharing this and so much more on this amazing topic. So for now, I thank you for listening and I will talk to you again soon and have a wonderful, wonderful weekend. Lots of love and lots of soul hugs coming your way. Take care and we will talk soon. Bye-bye.

Returning to YOUR loved SELF: A Path to Inner Wholeness

Hi, it's Colli from Colli Talks Transformative Conversations. In this brief podcast, I reflect on the overwhelming response to my interview with Robbie Ames and the importance of radical resilience in times of change.
As we navigate a world on fire, filled with unjust societies and crises, it's essential to respond with wisdom, love, and peace. This episode emphasizes the need to turn inward, reflect, and take full responsibility for our inner selves.
Many struggle with feelings of unworthiness and seek solace outside themselves. I discuss the journey of facing these inner pains and the importance of seeking support when needed. We can rise from our ashes, just as my 99-year-old aunt has done throughout her life.
Join me in embracing your loved self, walking through your struggles, and becoming whole again. Reach out for support and remember, your wound is your gift. Sending lots of love and soul hugs. Stay tuned for more transformative conversations.

From Dreams to Destiny: Robbie Ames' Transformative Journey in Golf and Life

Welcome to another episode of Colli Talks Transformative Conversations. Today, I am honored and delighted to be joined by my guest, Robbie Ames, a visionary leader in the golf and hospitality industry. I have known Robbie since 1997, and I am thrilled to share his inspiring journey with you.
Robbie Ames is currently the creative and highly involved point person for all aspects of club operations at Sea Pines Country Club. With a proven record of leading and developing team members, Robbie has transformed the club with $14 million in new projects and refurbished amenities. His passion for delivering exceptional and memorable golf and club experiences is evident in his impressive career.
Born in Trinidad and educated in the United States, Robbie's journey began as a professional golfer, representing Trinidad and Tobago in international tournaments. Despite his initial dream of playing on the PGA Tour not materializing, Robbie found his calling in club management. From Jamaica to Arizona, and now in Texas, Robbie's story is one of resilience, dedication, and continuous growth.
In this episode, Robbie shares his motivations, the challenges he faced, and the mentors who shaped his career. He discusses the importance of family, the sacrifices made, and the fulfillment of seeing his daughters grow. Robbie's vision for the future includes not only advancing his career but also enriching the lives of those around him.
Join us for an engaging conversation with Robbie Ames, as we explore the transformative power of following your true path and the impact of leadership, family, and personal growth on achieving success.
Love and soul hugs

Transformative Wellness: From Being in Prison to Inside-Out Healing with Ashley Manso

In this episode, we are thrilled to introduce Ashley Manso, a dynamic and holistic practitioner based in Southern California. Ashley shares her journey including being in prison to expertise in holistic lifestyle coaching, tuning fork energy healing, hormone guidance, and performance coaching.
Ashley dives into her background, including her extensive training at the C.H.E.K Institute, her passion for helping women with hormonal health, and her commitment to integrative wellness approaches. She also discusses her role as an astrologer and her experience in various athletic fields, including Brazilian jiu-jitsu and professional track running.
Throughout the episode, Ashley elaborates on the importance of understanding and honoring the human body, addressing both physical and energetic imbalances. She also shares her motivational journey, emphasizing the significance of self-awareness and the pursuit of higher consciousness.
Join us as we explore how Ashley's holistic methodologies can guide you towards a balanced and healthy life, and learn how to get in touch with her for personalized wellness programs.

Life After Sugar: Netta Gorman's Transformational Journey to Health and Empowerment

In this compelling episode of "Colli Talks Transformative Conversations," Colli welcomes the extraordinary Netta Gorman, a woman who has transformed her life and the lives of many others through her groundbreaking approach to nutrition. With over 500,000 podcast downloads, Netta is a beacon of hope for those struggling with cravings and health issues. She shares her personal story of overcoming relentless fatigue, joint pain, and digestive problems by making a radical dietary change—eliminating sugar, flour, and sweeteners.
Netta's journey from feeling hopeless to mentoring midlife women through similar transformations is both inspiring and enlightening. She dives deep into her initial resistance, the surprising benefits she experienced within two weeks, and how she now guides others to find freedom from cravings. This episode is a treasure trove of insights into the emotional and physical impacts of sugar, offering practical advice for anyone looking to take control of their health.
Join Colli and Netta as they discuss the power of nutrition, the importance of real whole foods, and the incredible sense of empowerment that comes from breaking free from sugar. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to improve their health and well-being.

A Transformative Journey of a Peaceful Warrior: An Interview with Dan Millman

Happy Fathers Day to all the amazing Fathers.
In this special episode, join us as we dive deep into the life and wisdom of Dan Millman, a former world champion athlete, Stanford University gymnastics coach, martial arts instructor, and prolific author. Known for his transformative book, "Way of the Peaceful Warrior," which was adapted into a film, Dan shares his insights on living an aware, purposeful, and healthful life.
Discover how a life-altering accident set Dan on a path of personal growth and teaching, leading him to write 18 books published in 29 languages. From his early days teaching martial arts to his philosophy on balancing a peaceful heart with a warrior spirit, Dan's journey is filled with valuable lessons for anyone seeking to navigate life's challenges.
Don't miss this inspiring conversation that covers the importance of action, the role of adversity in personal growth, and practical advice for living a balanced and fulfilling life. Whether you're a long-time fan of Dan Millman or new to his work, this episode is sure to leave you feeling motivated and enlightened.

A Transformative Journey into NLP, Hypnosis, and Havening with Doug O'Brien

In this episode of Transformative Conversations, we are honored to welcome a special guest, Doug O'Brien. Doug is the author of The User's Guide to Sleight of Mouth, a certified trainer of hypnosis and havening techniques, and a master trainer of NLP (neuro-linguistic programming). Based in New York, Doug's remarkable career includes founding the Department of Integrative Medicine at New York's Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in the 1990s, where he provided pre-surgical hypnosis to cardiac patients.
Join us as we delve into Doug's inspiring transformative journey, from his early days as a musician in New York to becoming a world-renowned expert in NLP and hypnosis. He shares his personal transformation experiences, and his dedication to continuous learning and teaching. Doug also introduces us to the revolutionary Havening techniques, which have shown incredible success in treating PTSD and other traumas.
This episode is packed with insights into the power of the human mind and body, the effectiveness of NLP, hypnosis, and Havening, and Doug's unwavering commitment to helping others transform their lives. Don't miss this chance to learn from one of the best in the field and discover how you can harness these powerful techniques for your own growth and healing.
To contact Doug:
https://ericksonian.com/team/doug-obrien
https://dougobrienhypnosis.com/
Email: doug@ericksonian.comOffice: 718 928-8279
Love and soul hugs
Colli K Christante 
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Personal and Business Transformation the Fascinating Journey of Ivan and Mariana Polic

Join us in this episode of Transformative Conversations as we dive deep into the fascinating journey of Ivan and Mariana Pollic, seasoned strategic growth specialists. They have mastered the art of restructuring, scaling, and exiting small to mid-sized businesses, ensuring ethical and profitable transitions while preserving team integrity and instilling long-term value.
With a background in the aerospace industry, the Pollics successfully navigated complex challenges to quadruple their company's revenue and achieve an eight-figure exit. Over the last 12 years, they've advised on over 300 board meetings and facilitated more than 1,000 successful acquisitions and exits, scaling seven businesses past $100 million with $4 billion-plus in portfolio sales.
Founders of the Systemic Approach Institute, Ivan and Mariana are dedicated to helping leaders and organizations find opportunities in the current transition economy. They support leveraging unique histories and gifts to make the biggest impact in life and business. Concurrently, Ivan serves as the CEO of Lutec, an aerospace manufacturing firm, while Mariana is the Chief Cultural Officer. Together, they co-authored the best-selling book, Bridging Legacy and Innovation to Build a Family Business that Lasts for Generations, and teach at California State University Fullerton.
In this episode, we explore their motivations, challenges, and the incredible experiences that shaped their approach to strategic growth and transformation. Discover how they blend inner world shifts with strategic outer world actions to create sustainable and impactful growth.